that song in my head

that song in my head

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

these are a few of my favorite things....

things to be thankful for....

my job (even if i have to wake up at 5 am for it....sigh)
a warm home
a closet full of clothes (and shoes) to choose from if i'm having a picky day
a beautiful (and quirky!) family that i love spending time with
coworkers that make me want to be the best nurse i can
loving friends
money in my bank account
a reliable car (which still has no name...)
a fiancee that is a gracious, loving, and gorgeous man
a son, that despite all the temper tantrums, picky eating, and unrelenting desire to wake up early, has stolen my heart forever
my Lord and merciful savior, Jesus the Christ (i pray i can serve You more this year than i ever have before)

here's a toast to the upcoming new year.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

all grown up

i have spent the last couple hours sitting at my kitchen table balancing my checkbook and attempting to sign up for online bill pay through my bank. needless to say it hasnt felt like the most productive or fun couple hours.

10 years ago i was 14 years old, chasing after boys and praying i looked better in my clothes than i felt. i developed faster than my friends and was embarrassed about it. i couldnt wait to have a job and have money to buy "important" things. i thought having a boyfriend was one of the most important things in the world. i couldnt wait to be in my 20s so i could do what i wanted to do.

5 years ago, i was 19 years old. that was a big year for me. i was thrust into adulthood. i had always been grown-up for my age (or so i had always been told), but at this point, i was scared to death. i was supposed to be making decisions that would affect my career. i found out i was going to be a mother. i had always wanted to be grown-up with a family, a home, and a career....but now being on the brink of it, i began to feel less and less ready. i began to wonder if i was going to have the career i had just started getting excited about. i had always wanted to be a wife one day, but with the possibility of it right around the corner, i realized how un-ready i was for marriage. being a mom was something that i had always wanted to do, but being a pregnant 19-year-old did not exactly feel the same as i had always pictured motherhood.

now we come to today...a real-life grown-up with a rented home, a gorgeous 3 1/2 year old little boy, a car that i own all on my own, and a engagement that fits perfectly this time.

despite the frustrations of balancing a checkbook, paying rent, and still not quite being able to fully work her cell phone, this grown-up has it pretty dang good.

thanks be to God.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

some perspective

I was just thinking about a special patient of ours. She was a super lady that was loved by everyone on the floor. She was in breast cancer remission...or so we thought. She passed away on Monday. It was a complete shock to our floor, because we had all been told that they had gotten all her cancer. I know, as a believer in our Lord Jesus Christ, that she is exactly where she wanted to be. She is, at this moment, being comforted by my Savior. What an amazing makes death a little less frightening really.

I take comfort in knowing that there IS a place prepared for us after we leave this life. Thank God that this ISN'T all there is...there is so much wrong in the world...I think it would depress me if I had nothing to look forward to.

After she passed away, everyone that was bombarded by the news kept saying "Thank God she isn't suffering anymore," or "At least we know where she is." That is so very true....but...why are we SO willing to be confident in the eternal salvation of others, but not of ourselves? Even sometimes when I say "I'm going to Heaven. I'm going to see my Jesus," secretly in my head I keep thinking "I hope..." There is nothing I can DO to earn this salvation....all I can do is lay myself down at Jesus' feet and crucify that person I so desperately don't want to be.

So thank you, you wonderful, beautiful, godly woman. You've given me some perspective. I want to be where you are.


Monday, September 27, 2010

Madame Blueberry

Jude is obsessed with this Veggie Tales DVD called Madame Blueberry. It's about this blueberry who has lots of stuff, but can't be happy because all she wants is more. She even has pictures of all her neighbor's things that she wants...or thinks she needs to be happy. She goes to "Stuff Mart" (which strangely reminds me of IKEA...) and starts buying all these things to be "happy." She comes across a little boy who doesn't get what he wants at the store, but is happy anyway, because he knows that a thankful heart is a happy heart...or so the song goes. In the end she realizes that she wants a thankful heart and asks the salesmen what aisle it's on. Much to their dismay, they have to confess that she can't find a thankful heart at Stuff Mart.

This little show makes me (obviously) think about our much pressure there is to have more...pardon me...crap. That's exactly what it all is. We all strive to have whatever the hottest celebrity has, but look at how many of them end up in some kind of rehab because they turned to drugs, alcohol, or sex because all the stuff in the world couldn't make them happy.

God has tremendously blessed me. I need to keep in mind that while he has provided me with a good job and income, my job in life is not to provide myself with all the things that I desire, but to love Him and love others.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

all i wanna do is grow old with you

as i climed out of my pontiac today at wal-mart, i saw this couple getting out of their car. they were probably in their late 70s. before i could realize my train of thought...i was jealous of this couple. i'll admit it, at first i was embarrassed that i was jealous of this much older couple...but then i thought, why am i embarrassed. they have so many years of love between the two of them. how wonderful is that?!?! harry connick jr says this in "ps, i love you" and i adore it...

"We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair."

i pray i am blessed and privileged enough to grow old with my husband.
emily charline